There is a blog I read that always makes me feel better about my life. Okay, sometimes it makes me feel not so good about myself because I feel not so good about my life sometimes, but it makes me wake up and take notice of the good things. Today’s post is about how gratitude can change your life. I need a small bit of change in my life right now!! Nothing major. Nothing bad is going on (quite a change from a year ago!). But I need a little change!
The last month of life has been hard. We found out Cael needed some pretty extensive dental work done. We took him in on a Tuesday and they had to put him under to do some work. He ended up with 6 crowns & 4 fillings!!!!! A 3 1/2 year old!!!! So that cost us around $1600. Thank goodness Courtney has dental insurance for us or it would have been $2400! But of course now Cael has met his max that the dental insurance will pay for the year. Oh well. Anyway. I am laying in bed with him that night as he is SCREAMING because his mouth hurts but he is refusing to take medicine for it when I get a text. Two of my kiddos (sisters) are leaving daycare except for Wednesdays because they can’t afford it. So there is now $200 less I will make a week. Then we had the whole issue with Winston & his ultimately his death. I am exhausted! I am stressed! I am trying not to feel broken & drowning. I need to fill those 2 open spots in order to feel like I can survive in the sea of bills that we seem to have. It’s not that we have a ton of debt or even that we have more debt than most people. It’s just that I would like to be able to pay my bills and still have some money left over for life.
But I have decided to (try) not to worry. I have decided to try to show some gratitude instead of whatever it is that I was showing. So here I go.
Right now I have 3 kiddos besides Cael here and they are crazy! They are loud & they don’t listen all the time. They do the opposite of what I tell them to do. They throw food on the floor and don’t eat hardly anything. But I am grateful for them! Without them I could not be home with Cael.
My hubby won’t be home until probably midnight tonight because he’s at Regional wrestling. Cael & I aren’t going tonight because it would be such a late night for him and then back to it tomorrow. We will just stay home & make treats to take the boys tomorrow & then join everyone tomorrow. He is gone until late every night for practice, he’s gone every Saturday for tournaments, and then during baseball he’ll be gone 3-5 nights a week! But I am grateful for him coaching! Without that we wouldn’t have as much money. He works extra hard to help provide for us because he loves us. And it gives me & Cael something to do. We get to go to tournaments every weekend & make some wonderful friendships with other people. The team & the parents welcome us with open arms and allow us to be part of their family.
My son can be a huge pain in the booty!! But I am so grateful for him because he is my heart & my world. (Courtney is too but I already talked about him!) He can brighten up my darkest day. He can make me laugh. He keeps me sane….while sometimes driving me insane.
I am even grateful for crazy Max! If we didn’t have him to keep Miller company I don’t know how he would be right now. I don’t think Miller can be alone. He needs a companion and I am grateful we had Max to help him through being without Winston. They had been a pair for 9 years!
So there. I am grateful. Things will look up for me. Things will get better. The bills will always get paid and maybe in the near future I will go back to being a teacher. But for now I will be grateful and content and happy doing what I’m doing.